Body: SANS PAREIL
Arms: POLITICAL HEAVYWEIGHTS
Personality: LIMELIGHT LOVER
Distinguishing features: LUPINE SMILE
Attainability: GIRL HE DEAD
Despite the ease with which he navigated the Martha’s Vineyard summer sartorial hurdles, I never bought into the whole ‘JFK Snr was the most handsome guy/president ever omg!!!’ – he fucking wasn’t. He looked like one of The Osmonds, and not even the semi-adorable Donny. JFK was more like one of the slightly inbred looking lesser Osmonds; and the only reason he looked vaguely attractive is because his peers were Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard fucking Nixon. Please don’t @ me about this topic, just accept that I’m right as usual. Anyhoo, his son, JFK Jnr, owner of the whitest teeth in American history, most definitely skipped the Kennedy scion cabbage face and ended up instead with a jawline hewn from celestial granite. Thankfully for us, he wasn’t shy and enjoyed basking in the glow of a billion paparazzi lenses. Please enjoy a quick Google search and cultivate some appreciation for his finely honed abs and perfectly distributed chest hair situation.
(For Rachel and Siobhan – both dicks but, y’know. Xx)