Face: EARLY 90S VERSACE MODEL
Personality: NICE LAD
Distinguishing features: MUTHAFUCKIN’ HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP!
Attainability: PROBABLY BALLS DEEP ALREADY BUT GIVE IT A GO
This colossus of a man is how I imagine one of the bouncers guarding the gateway of WOULD heaven to look. I envision it as being shirtless Anthony stood on the left, shirtless Chris Hemsworth in his Thor get-up on the right. Let me in immediately please gents, I need to give shirtless DJ Childish Gambino my record request: ‘Voulez Vous Coucher Avec Moi Ce Soir?’ lolllll. Okay, okay . . . . they can also be trouser-less too, I suppose. Fuck it: just make them starkers. It’s my fucking heaven, I’ll have it how I want it. Smashing his way to world heavyweight champion status last month, Anthony cemented his reputation as a badass athlete who works it like a winner yet maintains a gentlemanly conduct outside of the ring. Basically how I like all my men, KWIM? Let’s hope there are plenty more opportunities for some future pummelling.