MICHAEL SHANNON

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Face: PSYCHOTIC
Body: REVOLUTIONARY (ROAD)
Arms: LATE BLOOMERS
Personality: NOCTURNAL ANIMAL
Distinguishing features: THAT VOICE!
Attainability: TAKEN

You want to, but you don’t know why you want to. That, dear reader, is the dichotomy of Shannon. At once terrifying and endlessly sexually alluring, Michael Shannon has stealthily risen from the ranks of niche bit-part character actor to scene-stealing créature dévastatrice. On his ascent, he has racked up a litany of arresting consummations; not least of all his truly incredible recent turn in Tom Ford’s distressing Nocturnal Animals as a consumptive Texan police detective. Resembling – as it does at the best of times – a mugshot of a serial killer from Wisconsin in 1932, his face is worryingly beguiling. Yet, there is a reassuring moral solidness to the man; he is resolute on the topic of parents who voted for Trump, for example: “Fuck ’em. You’re an orphan now. Don’t go home. Don’t go home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Don’t talk to them at all. Silence speaks volumes.” I like him. I like his unwavering scowl. I like his weird top lip that’s bigger than his bottom lip. I just like him.

(Dedicated to his slightly more wholesome doppelgänger, Jeremy. And Kerry, and Katie: new fans. Xxx)

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