Face: GIMME GIMME (GIL)MORE
Body: SICILIAN BARMAN
Distinguishing features: CROOKED MOUTH
Attainability: LOOKS WIDE OPEN YO
If part of you has always thought “this is what Sylvester Stallone would look like if he was unbelievably hot”, then you’re basically on the exact same thought trajectory as me. Hey, we should be friends! How vindicated I felt, then, when Milo here was cast as Rocky’s son in Rocky Balboa, the sixth installment of the seminal boxing movie series which is basically the best movie series ever with Rocky IV being the ultimate best movie within the series don’t @ me plz. As Gilmore Girl‘s surly Jess, Mr Ventimiglia captured the desirous hearts of every fervent viewer; mainly because Dean was a fucking wetwipe and Logan was undoubtedly a Republican douche who probably watched Ashton Kutcher’s Punk’d. Feisty, bratty, a little bit dangerous, a whole lot sexy and definitely incalculably mesmeric, Jess was almost the second coming of Jordan Catalano himself. As a teetotal skateboarding vegetarian, you might imagine that Milo V has the potential to be on the dull side; but do you even CARE bro?
(For Mhairi, Ellie, Gail, Oisin, Greg & millions more. Xx)
(P.S. GILMORE GIRLS IS BACK FOR A SPECIAL NETFLIX SHOW ON NOVEMBER 25TH!!!!!!!!)