Monthly Archives: August 2016

MARK CAVENDISH

Face: MANXIOUS Body: ROADRUNNER Arms: NOT INVITED Personality: SPIKY Distinguishing features: THIGHS LIKE WHUT Attainability: MARRIED WITH A SON The geezer just won an Olympic medal FFS! But he also happens to be pretty fucking hot too, so there’s that. And “that” is … Continue reading

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CAMILLE LACOURT

Face: BAE-WATCH Body: PORN POSEIDON Arms: HERCULEAN Personality: PRAT? Distinguishing features: OLYMPIAN Attainability: MARRIED TO AN EX-MISS FRANCE The Olympic Games: surely the literal apex of WOULD-spotting . . . ? But everybody who’s somebody knows that the best and most sublime male bodies are … Continue reading

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