OLLY ALEXANDER

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Face: YEARS & YEARS…….YOUNGER THAN ME 😦
Body: TEEN DREAM
Arms: WISPY
Personality: KING
Distinguishing features: THOSE EYES
Attainability: COULD BE SINGLE…?

How do you like your pop stars? Intelligent with a side of extra cwuuuute? Reader, I hear you. Mr Alexander is not only a talented lil’ bunny whose band Years & Years have released some of the best pop songs of the last couple of years, he’s also a complete dude who speaks eloquently about all sorts of topics from the importance of mental health awareness, to standing up to bullying, to calling out the sexist bullshit that diminishes teenage girls as important drivers of the music industry. In short, he’s a very modern sort of sparky pop star with the vocal goods to back it up. I’ve also seen photos of him with his cat that looks really similar to mine, so….bonus. Now, the only problem is that he makes me feel fucking ANCIENT; a wizened crone akin to Zelda from Terrahawks after some sort of meth rampage. Ha! As if. I’m so fucking attractive, you guys, seriously.

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