Face: HOT NERD
Body: WEAPON OF CHOICE
Distinguishing features: IMAGINATION
With a list of exes that includes the girl crushes of every sane and sartorially forward-thinking woman (Sofia Coppola and Michelle Williams), Mr Jonze represents the type of lithe and ultra-focused polymath whose imagination recognises no boundaries. Almost every music video in the last twenty years that has stood out for being weird and brilliant and hilarious and dark: probably the work of Mr Jonze. As well as his vast experience in this field, Spike has directed numerous bizarre and beautifully crafted films including the 2013 masterpiece, Her. However, let’s not beat around the bush here, guys. Men like this are probably nightmare egoists who never stop working and dick around with video cameras all the time. Despite this, there is an intense focus that draws us in like the proverbial flies to pig shit we are. Pathetic, eh.