DUSTIN BROWN

5a3cf59e14d3f8076d0f6a7067004896Face: FORTY LOVE
Body: GAME, SET AND MATCH
Arms: VORSPRUNG DURCH TECHNIK
Personality: DRIVEN
Distinguishing features: WHAT DO YOU FUCKING THINK…?
Attainability: TOO BUSY

Ah bummer, he’s just been knocked out of Wimbledon, BUT! We have the memories, dear perverts; we have the memories. At 6‘5“ tall with waist-length dreads (attention all Caucasian dudes: do not try and replicate this look under any circumstances. You don’t have afro hair and you won’t look like this. You’ll actually look like this), the statuesque Mr Brown is an exceedingly enticing sight on the tennis courts of the world. Once again illustrating how many physically massive and borderline illegally attractive men there are in Germany, Dustin here has captured the heart of many a newly minted tennis “fan” this season. Two things he needs to up his game on: 1) Choice of accessories: The tendency to wear a dire beaded choker is a massive boner killer. 2) Winning. We need to see more of him, for longer.

(For Siobhan and Helen, who know a true athlete when they see one… Xx)

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