JAY R. FERGUSON

CFeKTDOUUAAoNoi.jpg-largeFace: DENNIS WILSON ON THE PIES
Body: GRIZZLY BEAR
Arms: STAN-DARD
Personality: AS YOU’D EXPECT
Distinguishing features: EYE TWINKLE LIKE WHUT
Attainability: MARRIED WITH KIDZ

I know, I know – Don Draper is a dreamboat; but he’s an absolute shitbag with the ladies, let’s face it. I saved almost all of my lust for the hirsute and heavyset Stan Rizzo. Starting in the show as a be-quiffed and clean-shaven Average Joe, he has steadily metamorphosised into a cross between Alan Bates and Zach Galifianakis via Aiden from Sex and the City‘s wardrobe. I like to imagine that I could lounge around drinking hard liquor and talking about art with Stan, and given that he is essentially a fatter version of my actual boyfriend this is a lot easier than you might expect. A barrel chest combined with voluminous, silky, cascading, follicular magnificence? Who wouldn’t want to have a sniff of that testosterone?

(For all my babes: you know who you are. Xx)

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