Monthly Archives: January 2015

MARK RYLANCE

Face:┬áIF COLIN FARRELL WERE FITTER Body: SLINKY LUPINE Arms: EXPRESSIVE Personality: THESP Distinguishing features: BEST STAGE ACTOR EVER? Attainability: BEEN MARRIED FOR AGES Chances are, if you’ve seen any plays worth seeing in the last twenty years, Mark Rylance has … Continue reading

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ED WESTWICK

Face: UPPER EAST SNIDE Body: RESTRICTED Arms: BASS LINES Personality: CHUCKLEVISION Distinguishing features: GRANITE JAW Attainability: WELL HE IS FROM STEVENAGE… Yeaaaaaaaaah, I know all a y’all been waiting for bare time for this one. And I am never one … Continue reading

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PENN BADGLEY

Face: EARNEST COFFEE SHOP BARISTA Body: SURPRISINGLY MANLY Arms: BUFF TINGS Personality: CHILL Distinguishing features: EYES LIKE AN ABANDONED PUPPY Attainability: GOOD? There’s just something about kind brown eyes and tousled dark curls that makes me feel all warm inside. … Continue reading

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