CHRIS PRATT

jurassic-world-new-stills-chris-prattFace: YOUR MATE’S FIT BROTHER
Body: MONEYBALL(S DEEP)
Arms: GUARDIANS OF THE WOULDAXY
Personality: LAUGH-A-MINUTE
Distinguishing Features: STAR ON THE UP
Attainability: MARRIED TO ANNA FARIS

OK, OK, OK! I fucking listened to your pleas! Of course, I already knew about Chris Pratt. In fact, I kind of preferred him when he was a bit fat, tbqfhwy. But here he is – newly svelte and newly mega-famous. It is absolutely deserved: he has put in some sterling work on Parks & Recreation, as well as excellent supporting roles in both Her and Moneyball. I think it’s his personality, as opposed to his physical transformation (although that hasn’t hurt, KWIM?!) that has made the hearts of ladies and gaydies across the globe sing in unison. He’s just a dead nice guy who doesn’t take himself seriously, and he’s married to Anna Faris who is allowed to join my gang comprised of famous women who would hold your hair for you if you were spewing (Drew Barrymore, Emma Stone, and Meryl Streep are also esteemed members).

(SGG, this is your first – but hopefully not your last – dedication from moi. Xx)

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