RICKY WILSON

article-2424987-1BCF20A2000005DC-389_634x403Face: GOSLING-LITE
Body: I PREDICT A WOULD
Arms: OH MY GOD
Personality: DUDE
Distinguishing Features: YORKSHIRE WIT
Attainability: DUNNO? WORTH A PUNT INNIT

Mate, I don’t even give a shit. I fancied him when he was carrying timber. He’s always been sexy, because he’s got a wit drier than Courtney Stodden’s hair. But now he’s slimmed down a little bit (didn’t need to, but phwoar) and discovered Blanx toothpaste, all of a sudden loads of birds have decided he’s worth pursuing. Tssk, amateurs. Guys, you have to see past the external visage to the WOULD inside. However, despite your fairweather fancying, I think it’s a good thing that Rick is now getting the attention he deserves. Many a time in the early-to-mid noughties I’d watch Popworld with a comedown and marvel at his wonderfully sardonic sense of humour, then self-medicate with a Grab Bag of Mini Cheddars. Well, you have to, don’t you.

(For Steph and Elly – appreciators. Xx)

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