Monthly Archives: December 2013

CHIWETEL EJIOFOR

Face: 36 YEARS A WOULD Body: EJIOFORMIDABLE Arms: FUCK YEAH Personality: CONSIDERED Distinguishing Features: EXTREME ACTING SKILLZ Attainability: TALK TO ME Sweet baby Jesus, this guy’s profile is going to utterly explode in January with the release of the remarkable … Continue reading

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EMILE HIRSCH

Face: LORD OF WOULDTOWN Body: ALPHA DOG Arms: TOPANGA CANYONS Personality: INTO THE MILD Distinguishing Features: PROMISING TALENT Attainability: SINGLE? Listen, yeah, I’ll give you the bad news first: he’s only five foot seven. GUTTED. But, good things often come … Continue reading

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MARTIN FREEMAN

Face: HOT FUZZ(Y) Body: TITCHY Arms: CLASSICALLY BRITISH Personality: ABSOLUTE DIAMOND Distinguishing Features: NORMALITY Attainability: LOVE, ACTUALLY HIYAAAAA! Did you miss me?! I knew you would. Anyway, I’m back, with a much-loved British national treasure (I’ve said ‘national treasure’ just … Continue reading

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