Face: VENTRILOQUIST’S DUMMY
Body: THE WOULD THAT SHAKES THE BARLEY
Arms: PEAKY BLINDERS
Distinguishing Features: AZURE EYES
Attainability: MARRIED WITH BAIRNS
I’ve dithered about with this post, mainly because I can’t decide whether or not I fancy Mr Murphy or am desperately terrified by him and his weird laser-eyes. But fuck it, here you go. An incredibly accomplished actor of both stage and screen, Cillian is magnificently chilling and prettily ethereal in equal measures. Capable of inspiring genuine fear when he inhabits a villainous role, he can also render grown men speechless at the cherubic beauty of his doe-eyed visage. With cheekbones that resemble glazed brioche buns and silky locks of a near-raven hue, Mr Murphy has a glacial appeal that will no doubt continue to court devotion from audiences all over the globe. I always feel like guys who look like this get better with age – in his youth he looked like a carved wooden marionette painted by a child. But, with an increasingly sharper haircut and jawline alike, he’s steadily morphing into a sleek and chiselled, err, marionette.
(For Joel. Xx)