Well lookee here. This rather beautiful chap is a German model who has eyelashes like two velvet butterflies, and luscious silky hair that is reminiscent of the unsullied underbelly of a six-week old black labrador puppy. I’d like to lie on a hammock under a canopy of jasmine and gaze at his perfect latte skin; maybe do a bit of face stroking too. His face, obvs. Maybe his body too, because that is as exquisite as Howard Donald’s in a Take That video circa 1994. Basically, he’s FIT. And everybody loves a good beard, don’t they. Especially George Clooney, he’s had loads: Renee Zellweger, Lisa Snowdon, that wrestler one, that waitress one, the one who he married and that one who bought him the pet pig.
(For Bim, because she enabled me, and Lizzie, because she is OWSUM. Xx)