ZAYN MALIK

tumblr_mea7vb3dE51rkz6geo1_500Face: WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL
Body: WAND ERECTION
Arms: (NOT SO) LITTLE THINGS
Personality: MEH
Distinguishing Features: EYES
Attainability: ENGAGED TO WHATSERFACE FROM THINGY

Listen up, all y’all: you’re on the wrong vibe with this Harry Styles thing. Yeah, sure, he’s a good looking kid, but he’s got bad, bad hair and flarey nostrils like the dog/dragon thing in The Neverending Story. Whereas; Zayn here is so classically beautiful, with bone structure to die for, and twinkly Irish eyes fringed with velvety Pakistani eyelashes. I’m sure he’s a boring little hyperbrat (like most teen sensations), but seeing as you hardly read this blog to find out who won the ‘Nice Guy Of The Year’ award, then I doubt you care. He is visually gorgeous, and he’s still only twenty – let there be many more years of babedom. Hope he doesn’t age like that one out of 5ive who looks like Gollum on smack.

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