JOHANNES HUEBL

600full-johannes-hueblFace: YALE CIRCA ’88
Body: HANOVER REMEDY
Arms: VORSPRUNG DURCH TECHNIK
Personality: DULL?
Distinguishing Features: SKIN LIKE PATRICK BATEMAN
Attainability: NOPE

Oh man. You know how I have this thing for men that are, like, too perfect looking? I mean, you know I don’t only like these preppy guys; but, by now dear reader, you should know me well enough to know that an immaculately tailored suit and a neat haircut and a heavenly face are my new (old) jam. Huebl is just the ticket: his weird transatlantic (German/Irish/American) accent, the impossible sheen of his tawny complexion, the way I imagine him to smell (cedar, freshly laundered linen, leather, Kiehl’s shampoo), the cleanliness of his designer garments, and of course the utter perfection of his Teutonic visage. Born in Hanover, the Yanks have now claimed him as their own, and he lives in NYC with his stupid fucking perfectly groomed babe girlfriend, Olivia Palermo. Fuck off, Palermo.

(Hey Chris! Cheers for making that Mr Porter thing and NOT TELLING ME. Xx)

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