MATTHEW MOSSHART

I’m really sorry that this is the first post in a fortnight — I’ve been moving house and decorating! My new place is super-mega. Anyway, here’s a topical post…

Matthew+Mosshart,+Vegan+ChefFace: LOVELY BONES
Body: TEEN MODEL
Arms: SLIPPY
Personality: UNCONDITIONALLY LOVELY
Distinguishing Features: HAIR LIKE OUR LORD
Attainability: JUST GOT ENGAGED TO KELLY OSBOURNE

So, as well as being the incredibly beautiful brother of the ultrababe that is Alison Mosshart of The Kills, Matthew here has recently proposed to his girlfriend of two years, the ace Kelly Osbourne. I love Kelly. She’s funny, and gorgeous, and has eyes like a Siren. This man has accepted her; warts an’ all, weirdo family an’ all. He seems like a total dude. He’s also a vegan chef, which appeals to me on all kinds of levels, given that I don’t eat meat and most fellas drone on and on about how stupid it is to be a vegetarian. Well FUCK OFF, because Mosshart ‘gets it’. I’d marry him too! And look at his shiny hair. He looks so healthy and cherubic. In fact, his similarities facially to a young Ozzy Osbourne are uncanny (Google it).

 

 

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