PATRICK GRANT

Picture-14-695x397Face: OSCAR WILDE PROTAGONIST
Body: E TAUT(Z)
Arms: C’EST CHIC
Personality: FIRM BUT FAIR
Distinguishing Features: ULTRABRAIN
Attainability: HIS MISSUS IS THE FORMIDABLE KATIE HILLIER

Let’s break this down into manageable chunks, shall we: He’s utterly charming. He resembles the sartorially and hygienically perfect equivalent of the sexiest 1890s aristo-steel worker imaginable (swoony combo). He has unlimited access to the finest garments created. He is in possession of a degree in material sciences and also an MBA from Oxford University. He has incredible business acumen. His girlfriend is the designer of some of the best handbags ever produced (see almost everything you’ve ever liked by Marc Jacobs or Victoria Beckham, just for starters). His beard, and body in general, presumably smell like freshly laundered linen and niche Italian cologne. His eyes are smiley and exude kindness. He can sew. URGH HE SOUNDS WELL SHIT.

(For Keith: she also makes wonderful things. Xx)

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