Monthly Archives: April 2013

DANIEL BRUHL

Face: GLORIOUS BASTERD Body: GOOD BYE LENTILS! Arms: PLEASING Personality: THE EDUKATOR Distinguishing Features: MULTILINGUAL Attainability: LOOKS LIKE HE’S SINGLE, FOLKS I know that he might not be instantly recognizable if you’re not one of those people who watch decent … Continue reading

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GORAN VISNJIC

Face: PRACTICALLY MAGICAL Body: ABOUT SEVEN FUCKING FEET TALL Arms: EEE-YAR Personality: PHILANTHROPIC Distinguishing Features: BALTIC HUMOUR Attainability: MARRIED, BUT A BIT OF A CAD? Croatian men are well hot. And TALL. Eric Bana is half-Croatian, for starters. One year … Continue reading

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CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER

Face: EARLY JON HAMM Body: CAPTAIN VON TRAPP-DANCER Arms: (NO) BEGINNERS Personality: THE SOUND OF SWOON-SIC Distinguishing Features: A BEAUTIFUL MIND Attainability: HAPPILY MARRIED When you were a kid and The Sound Of Music was on telly (approximately every other … Continue reading

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DAVE 1

Face: THEROUX LA LA Body: HOLD THE FRIES Arms: TWANGY Personality: NEEDY GIRL Distinguishing Features: GOT GROOVE Attainability: UNKNOWN, BUT HOPEFUL You might not have heard of Chromeo, so if you haven’t I suggest you watch this. And then also … Continue reading

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KIT HARINGTON

Face: SEXY BASTARD Body: GAME OF HONED Arms: WARRIOR Personality: FUCK KNOWS Distinguishing Features: HAIR TENDRILS OF LURRRVE Attainability: DATING CO-STAR? Fuck yeah this is another Game of Thrones entry. Have you even SEEN how many sexual beings are in … Continue reading

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GABRIEL BYRNE

Face: ENEMY OF THE UGLY TREE Body: FERRY-ESQUE Arms: THE USUAL SUSPECTS Personality: CAREFULLY LOQUACIOUS Distinguishing Features: EXCELLENT HEAD OF HAIR Attainability: SINGLE? A few years ago whilst visiting a friend, I was gormlessly staring at a beautiful Manhattan brownstone, … Continue reading

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SEAN O’PRY

Face: $$$ Body: MICHAEL CORRRRRS Arms: GYM BUNNY Personality: GEORGIA PEACH Distinguishing Features: CASH CONVERTER Attainability: NO TIME FOR LOVIN’ He is the current number one male model in the world as ranked on Models.com. This means he is earning … Continue reading

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