Distinguishing Features: EYELASHES
Rugby, yadda yadda yadda YAWN. There is fucking NO WAY I want to talk about rugby here, I absolutely hate it. It reminds me of having to sit in a darkened room over a bank holiday weekend with my father and his cunty brother Martin whilst they pointed out the hidden plus points of throwing a big leather egg around in the mud. As well as this, rugby players were pretty uniformly ming — their faces a clusterfuck of squashed features, and possessing necks that were barely separate from their body, like Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So, imagine my surprise whilst on holiday in New Zealand a few months ago, when I idly watched a rugby match playing on a TV in a bar out of the corner of my eye and spied this specimen. He’s like a cross between an angel, a hobbit, and a Land Rover. It just…works.
(For Lowri: Welsh nause and pixie-sized human. Xx)