Monthly Archives: March 2013

LEIGH HALFPENNY

Face: CHERUBIC Body: STOCKY Arms: HEROIC Personality: DUNNO Distinguishing Features: EYELASHES Attainability: SINGLE? Rugby, yadda yadda yadda YAWN. There is fucking NO WAY I want to talk about rugby here, I absolutely hate it. It reminds me of having to … Continue reading

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LIEV SHREIBER

Face: CARNAL Body: X-MAN Arms: MOMENTOUS Personality: CULTURED Distinguishing Features: SHEER MASCULINITY Attainability: MARRIED TO NAOMI WATTS Oof, he’s a manly one, alright. Mr Schreiber is a hunko-chunko superman, who excels at both acting and directing. His upbringing was a … Continue reading

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MAX IRONS

Face: JEREMY JUNIOR Body: BURGEONING Arms: FABULOUS Personality: RED RIDING GOOD Distinguishing Features: ANGEL MOUTH Attainability: PRETTY SWEET Cop a load of this fitty — he’s the twenty seven year old son of Jeremy Irons and Sinead Cusack (spitting image … Continue reading

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WILL CHALKER

Face: PACO RA-BANG Body: A TEN Arms: DREAM BUILDER Personality: GEEZER Distinguishing Features: EMERALD EYES Attainability: DUNNO If this dude doesn’t look immediately familar, then cast your eyes over THIS. A decade ago, Mr Chalker got all up in our … Continue reading

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PAUL DANO

Face: LITTLE MISTER FUNSHINE Body: THERE WILL BE WOULD (EVENTUALLY) Arms: PUNY Personality: EXCELLENT Distinguishing Features: INTELLECTUALLY SUPERIOR Attainability: GOT A GIRLFRIEND There is something mesmerising about this one. I know he’s unconventional looking, but what’s convention anyway? It’s BORING. … Continue reading

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ALEX PETTYFER

Face: MAGIC Body: BEEFING UP Arms: CASUAL LABOURER Personality: PROBS A DICK Distinguishing Features: A DEVIANT MANNER Attainability: SHAGGING ELVIS’S GRANDDAUGHTER? The best thing is probably not to Google his year of birth (1990). I KNOW. But, listen, he’s in … Continue reading

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RICHARD MADDEN

Face: STARK Body: BATTLER Arms: WOLF TAMERS Personality: AMBITIOUS Distinguishing Features: STAR ON THE UP Attainability: GOT A MISSUS OK, yes, this is another Game of Thrones thing; but listen, right, you NEED to watch it. There are literally tons … Continue reading

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