Monthly Archives: January 2013

OLOF MELLBERG

Face: VALHALLA Body: IS HE FOR (VILLAR)REAL?! Arms: ODIN Personality: GENTLEMANLY Distinguishing features: WELL RESPECTED IN THE GAME Attainability: PARTNER. KIDS. WHATEVER. So, let’s just do a little comparison, shall we… British footballers (obviously with the exception of Beckham, who … Continue reading

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AIDEN SHAW

Face: NEPTUNE Body: TAUT Arms: GENEROUSLY MUSCLED Personality: OPEN Distinguishing features: EXTREME SEXXXX Attainability: GO FOR IT, LADS This un-bel-iev-ably beautiful man is my current model obsession: just look at that wonderful bone structure. A fascinating character, the divine Mr … Continue reading

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ROCK HUDSON

Face: TRIBBIANI SENIOR Body: GIANT Arms: ROCK CLIMBERS Personality: TORTURED SOUL Distinguishing features: LIPS WORTH IMMORTALISING Attainability: NOW AT PEACE Oh Rock, you poor old sod. The fucking Hollywood machine kept the true Roy Harold Scherer Jnr hidden for so … Continue reading

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JAMIE FOXX

Face: FOXXY LAD(Y) Body: DJANGO UNZIPPED Arms: DREAMBOYS Personality: TIT Distinguishing features: MULTI-TALENTED Attainability: THE SOLOIST He’s been on the list for ages, but I do like to save things until they’re topical so that I get the most attention … Continue reading

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MICHAEL BALL

Face: DIMPLETASTIC Body: SECOND HELPINGS Arms: PAPA BEAR Personality: SUPER NICE Distinguishing features: MUSICAL THEATRE LEGEND Attainability: LONG TERM PARTNER You need to understand something: as a child seeing the stage show of Les Miserables for the first time, I … Continue reading

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MATTHEW GOODE

Face: BRIDAL SHOPS REVISITED (WITH HASTE) Body: TOM FORD APPROVED Arms: GENTEEL Personality: GOOD HUMOURED Distinguishing features: EYE TWINKLES Attainability: NOT A SINGLE MAN Weirdly, this man looks so much like one of my good friends that even his girlfriend … Continue reading

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CHRISTOPHER ABBOTT

Face: SINCERE Body: NIMBLE Arms: FULL O’ LOVE Personality: YOUR SWEETNESS IS MY WEAKNESS Distinguishing features: MELTY EYES Attainability: HMMM. DUNNO. You know in series one of Girls when Charlie was a total pussy? Smothering and annoying and too nice? … Continue reading

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