JOE COLLIER

Face: ARCHANGEL
Body: NAVVY
Arms: SPORTS PRO
Personality: SWEETHEART
Distinguishing features: GENERAL DREAMINESS
Attainability: GIRLFRIEND. HUMPH.

Here you go then: another fucking beaut. I’m pretty good to you, aren’t I? Mr Collier is a mere twenty years old and is rising up the model career path with a trajectory akin to Felix Baumgartner being catapulted into space. He’s a typically down to earth Manc lad who loves MCFC, dicking about with his mates, and listening to Oasis, but his celestial face atop that perfectly proportioned physique will be his meal ticket for a long, long, loooooong time. He’s at the same agency as quite a few of my mates (and former WOULDs) so I have it on excellent authority that young Joseph is not only bloody lovely, but super kind as well — if you want to quit your day jobs and stalk him then I can probably facilitate that. Look out for this lion cub, for he is going to be a massive fashion star. The big guns have already started calling…

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