MICHAEL BUBLE

Face: EAGER COCKTAIL BARMAN
Body: EXTRA PASTA
Arms: FISHERMAN’S FRIENDS
Personality: PROPERLY SOUND
Distinguishing features: CROONTASTIC
Attainability: MARRIED TO SOME FUCKING MODEL

Oh shut up — yes you would. Forget the warbling, I get it if that’s not your vibe. But, this is a man who kinda does have it all: he’s gorgeous, he’s carrying a bit of timber (love that), he’s really funny, he looks mega in a tux, he loves and respects women, and he used to be a deep-sea fisherman in Canada (so he’s not averse to some seriously hard graft). Here are some more plus points: your parents would fucking love him. I reckon he’d be ace with kids at big family parties, you know? Being that cool, funny guy doing silly jokey stuff that kids are just deliriously happy around? He’s got that vibe. He’s really relaxed, and looks like he could bake and shit. I love his sticky-out ears and gentle eyes, they lend him this unthreatening warmth. Yet, he is definitely sexy too. In summary, let yourself feel the force. You know you want to be forever blowing Buble (sorry).

(For my sister Hannah, and Ms Ellie Quigley — both know what I’m sayin’. xx)

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2 Responses to MICHAEL BUBLE

  1. Harriet says:

    Ahhh the Bublé. What a dreamboat.

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