HUGH DANCY

Face: DUSKY CHERUBIM
Body: OXFORD STUDENT UNION
Arms: PROMISING
Personality: SWEET LIKE CHOCOLATE BOY
Distinguishing features: TOUSLED LOCKS
Attainability: MR CLAIRE DANES

What a lovely little face! Like a cheeky East Coast freshman at an Ivy League college. Or a Classics or Art History student at Cambridge University. Or a promising actor who needs to be in more shit asap. How much does my mum love him? LOADS, I’m guessing. He well looks like a Mum-pleaser. I bet he’s really polite, and has great table manners, and doesn’t mind dogs jumping up at his legs even if he’s wearing Burberry Prorsum trousers. He’s married to Claire Danes, which pleases my inner-Angela so much. It’s good to know there’s life post-Catalano, eh? The only thing wrong with this picture is that we don’t see enough of him. More films please, Hugh.

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