RYAN PHILLIPPE

Face: PWETTY-PWETTY
Body: GYM BUNNY
Arms: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER…  (YOU WORKED OUT)
Personality: HOPEFULLY NO CRUEL INTENTIONS
Distinguishing features: LUSCIOUS LIPS
Attainability: DATING

Sometimes, just looking upon the face of seraphim is enough to make your pathetic little life seem a bit better, eh? That highest order of angelic being radiates enough glow to illuminate the shadows and dispel evil. Or, you know, you could just find someone to perv over who kind of looks like an angel — like Ryan Phillippe. LOOK at that face! It’s soooooooooooooooooooooo pretty. He might be a total douche deluxe for all I know, but I couldn’t give a flying fuck. He’s gorgeous. And his body is pure Delaware construction worker in the Athena poster section. Super hot. So, let’s rejoice and praise the Lord for sending us one of his little helpers to objectify endlessly.

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