Hopefully he isn’t too fast or furious, because I think we’d all like to savour any moments with Mr Walker that we happened to find ourselves in. Blessed with the kind of cheekbones and abdominals that only the true winners of the genetic lottery ever possess, Paul Walker is an all-American dreamboat who surfs, drives really erratically (in a sexy way), catches baddies, and emerges – dripping – through the breaking waves like a young Poseidon. I bet he smells of sea salt and shower gel. I bet his skin is warm and lightly tanned. I bet he makes, like, really good egg-white omelettes. I bet he has a cool manly dog. I bet he has a PlayStation but you must NOT hold this against him.
(For Boge: may you always have fast cars in your life xx)