WOODY HARRELSON

Face: TEXAN INBRED
Body: WOULD-Y HARRELSON
Arms: YOGIC
Personality: LIBERAL STONER
Distinguishing features: WONKY CHARISMA
Attainability: MARRIED WITH SPROGS

Possessing an unsettling charm, Mr Harrelson is like that pair of shoes you have that are kind of weird looking and don’t really fit you properly, but make you feel super sexy. He looks like someone with a grudge smashed his face in with a flat iron when he was a kid, but his direct gaze and laid-back demeanor are at once disarming and mollifying. Known for being incredibly free-thinking, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that this hemp-loving, music-making, rodeo-riding vegan has at least one pair of Crocs down at Casa Del Harrelson, but please remember that fully molded CrosliteTM material for superior Crocs comfort can be incinerated in any common or garden bonfire.

(Georgie – you fookin belter xx)

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