BEN BRIDWELL

Face: 1880S MORMAN
Body: ORIGINAL HIPSTER
Arms: STARBUCKS PART-TIMER
Personality: SERIOUS
Distinguishing features: A WAY WITH WORDS
Attainability: MARRIED WITH BABES

Look, right, the reason you look at all those douches in Brooklyn and Shoreditch and Portland and go ‘urgh, why do they all dress the same and use iPads and want to be writers and artists and musicians’, is because those folk are hapless sheep, aimlessly following the Urban Outfitters-clad herd. But, you know, some people have dressed in a bearded, tattooed, sexy way for decades. Some of them actually ARE artists and writers and musicians. Take Band of Horses front-man Ben here: bearded, tattooed, sexy, is a musician. Still WOULD. Ya get me? He has written some of the most beautiful, heartbreaking songs ever. I saw his band perform as the sun went down on a Swedish summers day and it was, like, so magical. I was drunk, but STILL. So don’t just brand him a hipster. Well, you can if you want. I don’t actually give a fuck, because I’m arrogant and selfish.

(Ellie. I CAN HAZ FREE BURGAZ? Or even just a milkshake? C’moooooon xx)

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