JEREMY RENNER

Face: CABBAGE PATCH KID
Body: ACTION MAN
Arms: VEINY
Personality: PITHY
Distinguishing features: IMMINENT OSCAR?
Attainability: UNKNOWN

Hiya Jezza. Listen mate, not sure if you’re aware of it or not, but you’re pretty hot stuff. Charging around as you do with your body all gleaming and pumped, you exude manliness on a scale that we like. Basically, the top of the scale, know what I mean? Looking seriously serious seems to suit you (see The Town, The Hurt Locker and The Bourne Legacy for proof), but I sure don’t mind it when you crack one of those disarming smiles either. Ooh, you cheeky little bastard — you know what you’re doing, don’t you?! Getting us all hot and bothered like that. Well, I’ve got news for you, dude: I AM THE BOSS OF ME. Unless it’s a Friday night, in which case: YOU’RE THE BOSS OF ME, JEREMY (wear the suit and bring the briefcase…).

(For Sarah Cox, who deserves loveliness xx)

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2 Responses to JEREMY RENNER

  1. Beth says:

    Your best post ever!!! X

  2. girlieq24 says:

    So funny! I have been swooning over him all weekend. Thank you very much. And YES I VERY MUCH WOULD!!!

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