RYAN BAILEY

Face: ASTRAL
Body: TITAN
Arms: FORMIDABLE
Personality: DEDICATED
Distinguishing features: CHEETAH-ESQUE PERFORMANCES
Attainability: YOU WISH

If you were 6 foot 4 and built like a brick shithouse; and had incredibly precocious sporting abilities; and had drive and dedication, despite your tumultuous upbringing; and wanted to achieve personal greatness, then you’d probably be competing in the Olympics at the moment too. Sadly, you don’t — you’re a loser. But Ryan Bailey is a winner! One of life’s winners. He works hard for it too. Luckily for him, he also happens to look as though he was formed almost entirely of handsome. Some genes, eh! Powering along that track like a bullet-train, this supreme being hasn’t even got started yet. There will be many years of Bailey to come, of this we are sure. You might want to use him as an example and pull your bloody socks up. I mean, you’re an embarrassment.

(Dedicated to the lovely Helen Seamons — she of excellent style and taste xx)

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3 Responses to RYAN BAILEY

  1. Beth says:

    As the camera travelled along the line of 100m runners last night, it reached Ryan Bailey and I gasped at his beauty. My next thought… he deserves a totally would post!

  2. My sister and I were only discussing him and his attributes last night…so I am delighted to find him here. We think he was actually made by women, in a man manufacturing unit, somewhere in heaven.

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