Hiya Ash! You know when you were just some kid from Peckham, and then you got a bit famous in that shit group and all of you acted like bellends and then you got done for carrying a loaded weapon and went to a young offender’s institute? Listen, don’t worry kid — no-one remembers any of that and I ain’t about to rake up the past. Wait! Oh. Anyway, now you’re like a serious actor and that and everyone has high hopes for you. You’ve shown a lot of promise, and now I’m requesting that maybe you show some more skin too? I mean, it is art. Well, it’s got art on it. Well, it’s got tattoos on it. That’s art, right? Plus you look like you’d be well up for some picnic timez on Peckham Rye (even though you have FOUR kids with your long-term girlfriend. Don’t bring them that day, mate).
(For Clare and Jim. Fight amongst yourselves, kids xx)