RAFA NADAL

Face: RODENT
Body: MAGNIFICO
Arms: 135 MPH
Personality: BLAH
Distinguishing Features: RULEZ THA COURTZ
Attainability: GOT A BIRD

Aaaah, bummer dude — getting beaten by an upstart (sort of)… Don’t worry Rafa, we still love you, and we still definitely WOULD. You may look like a capybara, but your muscular body is absolutely astounding and your talent is still undeniable. We like the way you storm about that court, your raven locks all damp with exertion. We like the way you slam those balls against the ground with such determination. We like the way your olive skin gleams with health. We like the way you used to win everyth…WAIT!! That’s mean. You’re still remarkably amazing at swinging that racket. Maybe we can console you? It’s an option, man. Don’t dismiss it just yet. I’ve got vodka in the freezer.

(For Zoe and Jill — commiserations, ladies xx)

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One Response to RAFA NADAL

  1. Vivienne Berryman says:

    Face: Rodent. Ha ha ha ha. Spot on.

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