MATT DAMON

Face: SQUISHED
Body: FILLING OUT
Arms: STURDY
Personality: ACE
Distinguishing Features: CAN DO A BRILL MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY IMPRESSION
Attainability: MARRIED WITH KIDZ

This is kind of a weird one, in that I do not find (and never have found) Matt Damon physically attractive. Like, not even slightly. He’s got the weirdest profile and nose ever. BUT! He is so utterly lovely personality-wise that it would be a crime to dismiss him as an object of sexual desire. He is genuinely hilarious with brilliant comic-timing, and by all accounts is extremely kind and generous as a friend. Hell, he even turned up to a Z-list celebrity extravaganza birthday party in honour of his friend Lisa Snowdon’s fortieth birthday (whom he met when she was Clooney’s beard). Now that’s dedicated friendship. Shunning the dull celebrity women he met on film sets and red carpets, he married an ace single mum (who was working in a bar when they met) because he’s awesome. He also gives TONS of cash to charity, supports the Red Sox cos he’s a Boston (well, Cambridge) boy, and loves his mum.

(Vivienne! For you! xx)

 

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One Response to MATT DAMON

  1. vivienne says:

    You are a sweetheart Emma. And so is ‘our Damon’. I like his lop-sided grin. And I would have made an ace side-kick for him when he was Jason Bourne. He is, as you say, a lovely lovely guy with great comic timing, cos let’s face it girls – when the male body starts to droop and malfunctions…if you ain’t got humour or friendship….you ain’t got nuffink!

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