JOHN TRAVOLTA

Face: FACE/ON
Body: NIGHT FEVER
Arms: OOH OOH OOH, HONEY
Personality: CARING
Distinguishing Features: DANCE SKILLZ
Attainability: MARRIED BUT CLEARLY IN THE CLOSET

Scientology, strange toupee addiction, and probable friendship with Tom Cruise aside, Travolta is well deserving of his place on WOULD. For decades, he has provided us with the correct amount of twinkle-eyed, swivel-hipped lust. Even early on as the hapless goon/bully in the excellent Carrie, Travolta was stealing scenes with his weirdly over sized lips and chin cleft. But it was as Tony Manero in Saturday Night Fever where Johnny Boy sealed his fate as an object of desire. Polyester-clad and horny as fuck, he disco-danced his way into the hearts of millions. However, it was Danny Zuko who did it for me (and you, I imagine). Don’t even pretend you didn’t want to get to it with a guy wearing a skintight black t-shirt. I still think about that – almost religiously – every seven seconds.

(Emma Stebbings, you gorgeous Amazon woman, this is for you xx)

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