Monthly Archives: March 2012

JAMES DEEN

Today, we have a very special guest post from Stephanie Heneghan! Face: HOT JEW Body: LEAN & TONED Arms: MOVE ALONG, NO GUN SHOW HERE Personality: IMMATURE/SEXY Distinguishing Features: MAHOOSIVE SCHLONG Attainability: WILL LITERALLY SLEEP WITH ANYONE Girls don’t watch … Continue reading

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HENRY CAVILL

Face: JOHN F. KENNEDY JR CIRCA 1993 Body: SUPERMAN, LITERALLY Arms: MAHOOSIVE Personality: CHARMING Distinguishing Features: FASSBENDER-ESQUE GAZE Attainability: GOT A BIRD This first fact might put you off a bit, but at least we’ll sort the wheat from the … Continue reading

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TOM HIDDLESTON

Face: PSEUDO-TOFF Body: GIN & SLIMLINE Arms: CLASSICALLY TRAINED Personality: ELOQUENT Distinguishing Features: MEGA BRAINY Attainability: UNKNOWN He’s got a double first in Classics from Cambridge University, is a RADA trained actor who has shown incredible promise in films such … Continue reading

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JACK GUINNESS

Face: OREGON TRAIL SETTLER CIRCA 1865 Body: DAPPER Arms: INVITING Personality: LOL PROVIDER Distinguishing Features: ELEGANTLY HIRSUTE Attainability: LOOK, AT LEAST HE’S LOCAL, YEAH? Oh Jack. Just look at you. Even that cat is like, “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM … Continue reading

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PAUL SCULFOR

Face: NEWMAN-ESQUE Body: SCULPTED Arms: EX-BUILDER Personality: ZEN Distinguishing Features: LONGEVITY Attainability: WE’RE HOPEFUL? As I’ve told you before, all the best models come from Essex. Paul Sculfor, David Gandy, Jodie Marsh . . . oh. Maybe just the male … Continue reading

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PATRICK WILSON

Face: A-TEAM Body: BROAD(SHOULDERS)WAY Arms: PATRICK, YOU’VE SCORED A HATRICK Personality: HARDWORKING Distinguishing Features: INTENSE GAZE Attainability: MARRIED INNIT Chances are you might not know the name, but Mr Wilson here (not one of the other Wilson brothers, by the … Continue reading

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