Monthly Archives: February 2012

MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY

Face: SOUTHERN CHARMER Body: SURFTASTIC Arms: CLASSIC HUNK Personality: LAIDBACK Distinguishing Features: DIMPLES Attainability: COUPLED UP Yeah I know, he’s a pretty rubbish actor on the whole, but he seems like a dead nice bloke and he’s got that whole … Continue reading

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JEAN DUJARDIN

Face: TRES BON Body: CLASSIQUE Arms: USEFUL FOR CARRYING INDUSTRY AWARDS Personality: JOKER Distinguishing Features: JE NE SAIS QUOI Attainability: MARRIED (BUT HE IS FRENCH, SO…) If you haven’t seen The Artist yet, why the fuck not?! Hurry up! It’s … Continue reading

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JEAN-PAUL BELMONDO

Face: OVER-GENEROUS Body: STRIP STEAK Arms: TYPICALLY PARISIAN Personality: BREATHLESS Distinguishing Features: MASSIVE FACIAL FEATURES Attainability: BIT OF A SHAGGER Old JP here was quite the dandy around town back in the 60s. One of the most recognisable faces of … Continue reading

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EWAN MCGREGOR

Face: McCHEEKY Body: HUNG Arms: FAIR TO MIDDLING Personality: AFFABLE Distinguishing Features: QUICK TO LAUGH Attainability: MARRIED, Y’ALL He might be a total bellsniff for all I know, but Ewan McGregor just always seems like such a nice cheery fella, … Continue reading

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ALAN BATES

Face: HIRSUTE Body: HIRSUTER Arms: HIRSUTEST Personality: TEMPESTUOUS Distinguishing Features: VIGOUR Attainability: SADLY SUCCUMBED TO CANCER The scene in Women in Love where Alan wrestles naked with an equally nude Oliver Reed is well erotic. It’s like a trippy, sexual … Continue reading

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ANDRE 3000

Face: HEY YA Body: DIMINUTIVE Arms: SHAKE ‘EM LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE Personality: ANIMAL LOVER Distinguishing Features: CREATIVE FORCE Attainability: ERR, SORRY MS JACKSON What a firecracker! You know that kind of intense energy that only really, seriously, incredibly creative … Continue reading

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ALAIN DELON

Face: DEL-ICIOUS Body: PISCINE-WORTHY Arms: SVELTE Personality: ENTREPRENEURIAL Distinguishing Features: BONE STRUCTURE Attainability: SERIAL CHEATER Honestly, if you haven’t seen The Leopard or La Piscine, then immediate viewing is essential. Delon is heartbreakingly beautiful in both films (they are also … Continue reading

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