LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Face: KESTREL
Body: SURPRISINGLY STRAPPING
Arms: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN* (*YOU CAN)
Personality: FOCUSED
Distinguishing Features: TALENT
Attainability: CRAP. UNLESS A SUPERMODEL.

Hiya Leo, love. You’ve chunked out a little bit recently, eh? Don’t worry. Me likeee. And I also like the way your face is sort of like a little bird of prey, and the way your dimples appear when you crack a smile. But what I mostly like is the way your push yourself in your career, it’s WELL sexy. You are underrated as an actor, in my opinion. “Cool” people don’t like to admit that they like your films ‘cos they’re too busy staring blankly at each other across soulless bars in Dalston and making sure their braces don’t get all twisted at the back and that. But I’m VERY cool, and I like you. Let’s get it on.

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3 Responses to LEONARDO DICAPRIO

  1. Vivienne Berryman says:

    Yeah, he’s chunked out (he can borrow my gym membership). Yeah – he’s into recycling (yawn). Yeah – he’s into leggy models (snore). But at least with this actor you could have a serious conversation as well as borrow a City Bike and have a laugh riding around the streets of Manhattan a la Blake Lively.

  2. Deana says:

    Wouldn’t look at him twice until Blood Diamond and then suddenly WOOF WOOF!

  3. diana says:

    write me ;))))

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