OSCAR SPENDRUP

Face: ASTONISHING
Body: FASHIONABLE
Arms: OSCAR-WORTHY
Personality: TEENAGE KICKS
Distinguishing Features: UTMOST BEAUTY
Attainability: PRETTY GOOD

This is one Oscar that should definitely have a ceremony. Fucking hell! Look at that FACE. He is positively angelic. He is a Swedish teen angel fashion model sent from genetics Heaven. I just want to trace those perfect cheekbones with my fingers for eternity. What utter beauty. Some kids have all the luck. He’s making fashion waves, this kid; so stay tuned. I think he’ll be huge. What IS it about the Swedes? I mean, what the hell happened there anyway?! It’s like all the world’s most beautiful people have been contained there since the dawn of time, leaving hideous trolls from Wigan and Wichita to somehow manage to breed and populate the majority of the earth. I say, break free, young Swedes! Come to me!

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