THIERRY HENRY

Face: UEFA LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM
Body: VA VA VOOM
Arms: HEY BOBBY, WHAT’S FRENCH FOR VA VA VOOM?
Personality: CHEEKY
Distinguishing Features: FANCY FOOTWORK
Attainability: DATING A MODEL

So yeah, obviously I know sweet FA (cup) about football. Bothered. Thierry Henry is FIT. Even straight boys think so. I know this, because they tell me. Well, I think that’s what they mean, anyway. Whatever. I stop listening after the words “transfer season” come out of their mouths because after that it just sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown. Now, although lots of people can be described as having a cheeky glint in their eye, I think that in this case it is almost the definition of the term. Ooh, he looks a naughty one. And such a nice, lean, torso. And such shiny white teeth. And so clever with those balls. Ooh la la.

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