Monthly Archives: January 2012

RICHARD GERE

Face: PRETTY (WOAH) MAN Body: AMERICAN GIGOLO Arms: ARMANI-SLEEK Personality: BIT OF A BUDDHIST NAUSE Distinguishing Features: BEAUTIFUL SKIN Attainability: DEFO NOT GAY, OK? I mean, yes, obviously, still WOULD. But the young Gere? The Gere from Days of Heaven, … Continue reading

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JAMIE LIDELL

Face: OFFBEAT DREAMBOAT Body: LITTLE BIT OF FEEL GOOD Arms: SUAVE Personality: MUSICALLY INCLINED Distinguishing Features: ACE VOICE Attainability: UNKNOWN He’s just so frickin’ gorgeous, is Mr Lidell. And charismatic too. And dead talented. And obviously, because he’s from near … Continue reading

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D. H. LAWRENCE

Face: BROOKLYN ARTISAN-CHOCOLATE SHOP PROPRIETOR Body: MALADY-RIDDEN Arms: WIMPY Personality: VISIONARY Distinguishing Features: A WHIZZ WITH WORDS Attainability: YEAH, WELL DEAD This is WOULD‘s 100th post! So to celebrate, here is a WOULD from (approx) 100 years ago. D. H. … Continue reading

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ANTHONY PERKINS

Face: FRIENDLY PERSUASION Body: UNDERSTATED Arms: HANDY WITH A KNIFE Personality: RETICENT Distinguishing Features: LOVES HIS MOTHER Attainability: GAY. AND DEAD. If, like some people (not me), you watched Hitchcock’s Psycho and thought “Well, he might be a homicidal maniac … Continue reading

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LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Face: KESTREL Body: SURPRISINGLY STRAPPING Arms: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN* (*YOU CAN) Personality: FOCUSED Distinguishing Features: TALENT Attainability: CRAP. UNLESS A SUPERMODEL. Hiya Leo, love. You’ve chunked out a little bit recently, eh? Don’t worry. Me likeee. And I … Continue reading

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BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH

Face: DR SEUSS Body: SHERLOCK-ING GOOD, BENNY Arms: CLASSY Personality: LOVELY Distinguishing Features: CHEEKBONES YOU COULD SKI DOWN Attainability: IT’S LOOKING OK Well, here he is, fellow perverts. A lot of you have been requesting him. He’s topical, yes, but … Continue reading

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OSCAR SPENDRUP

Face: ASTONISHING Body: FASHIONABLE Arms: OSCAR-WORTHY Personality: TEENAGE KICKS Distinguishing Features: UTMOST BEAUTY Attainability: PRETTY GOOD This is one Oscar that should definitely have a ceremony. Fucking hell! Look at that FACE. He is positively angelic. He is a Swedish … Continue reading

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