DOMINIC COOPER

Face: BARON GREENBACK
Body: LITHE
Arms: MAMMA MIA!
Personality: DELIGHTFUL
Distinguishing features: BULGY FROG EYES
Attainability: PRETTY GOOD

Dominic Cooper is actually sort of ugly. He is. He does indeed look like the arch enemy of Dangermouse, and his head is sort of the same width as his neck – like Cristiano Ronaldo, or a penis. But you know what? This kid has charisma. In absolute BOUNDS. He is supposedly a fucking nice guy too, which adds to the charm. It makes him sexy, despite the toad-comparisons. His limber little torso in Mamma Mia! is worth pausing the DVD for a minute or two (ten), and he’s notched up some impressive roles in ace films like An Education and The Duchess where he’s positively shone. Unfortunately, one huge mega downer is that he’s bezzies with dick deluxe, James Corden. I KNOW. Let’s not hold it against him. I bet my lovely friend Sian Allen would like to be held against him though, am I right?! Oh no you di’int!!

 

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One Response to DOMINIC COOPER

  1. Sian Allen says:

    In response to your final question: Do bears shit in the woods?

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