OWEN WILSON

Face: COCKNOSE
Body: SURFTASTIC
Arms: ELONGATED
Personality: INSOUCIANT
Distinguishing features: BLONDE MOP
Attainability: NOT TOO BAD

I mean, yeah, his nose looks like a penis; and yeah, he’s had the same hair-do for, like, ages – but so has Jennifer Aniston, and anyway . . . that’s his “thing”. We have already featured younger brother Luke on WOULD, but Owen is just as hot, and an even bigger star in many ways. Known for playing the chilled out, good-natured mate in, well, pretty much every film he’s ever been in, Owen has that lovely knack of making you feel like you really know him and that he’s proper sound in real life. He might not be, he might be an evil bastard, but we would never think that. That’s his skill! You just want to laze around with him on some beach, watching him joke about, really staring at his penis-nose to see if it moves weirdly when he talks, and just feeling all warm inside.

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2 Responses to OWEN WILSON

  1. Vivienne says:

    Cocknose? Ha ha ha ha. True.
    How about ‘baked bean nose’ – that of Benjamin McKenzie. aka Ryan from The OC.

  2. Suzerino says:

    I am actually crying with laughter! Thank you for Cocknose!

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