BENICIO DEL TORO

Face: BRAD PITT ON METH
Body: WOLFMAN
Arms: TRAFFIC-STOPPING
Personality: COMPLEX
Distinguishing features: FURROWED BROW
Attainability: SHAGGER

Because I was practically begged by my friends Suzy and Kat, I’ve hurried this Puerto Rican god up the list a bit. I mean – it was desperate, pleading behaviour. They were crying and everything (probably). Very sad really . . . But anyway, here he is: Mr ‘Shagged Johansson In A Lift’. Darkly, enigmatically, broodingly fit, Benicio is the physical embodiment of that feeling you get when you eat a whole packet of Giant Buttons – you know it’s bad for you but you just CAN’T FUCKING STOP YOURSELF. And man, they taste good. Sadly, Del Toro’s cred has been recently tainted by the discovery that he had a baby with the thicko bimbo daughter of Rod Stewart, WTF??!?!?!? And yet . . . you still would. He’s a Giant Button alright.

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3 Responses to BENICIO DEL TORO

  1. judgejudy200 says:

    Any woman who sleeps with BDT should make sure they get him to first scrub himself in Lysol (after all he does sleep with random women) and secondly wear 2 condoms lol. I always thought BDT was smart – I guess he’s not now.

  2. anabbloggin says:

    hah Brad on meth… genius.

    a favourite

  3. hehe .. Brad Pitt on meth .. I’ll never look at him in the same way again. Okay .. so, I’ll still you know, drool and shit but, it’ll be more self-conscious ..

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