Personality: SENSITIVE
Distinguishing features: TIME TRAVELLING SKILLS
Attainability: UNKNOWN

Keanu Reeves is forty seven. FORTY FUCKING SEVEN. That’s hard to comprehend, isn’t it??!?!?!?!?!? As a teenager, I loved him so much I even had a special wall dedicated to him in my bedroom with pictures from The Face and Sky magazine and even Smash Hits plastered all over it. Once, I watched Cronenberg’s remake of The Fly and I was so shit-scared I slept with a picture of Keanu next to my pillow in case I woke up in a terror *wishes could erase half of life*. Anywaaaaaaaay, Keanu is a precious flower, has suffered some recent tragedy, and clearly has some sort of Dorian Gray-esque portrait in the attic that prevents him from aging in any capacity. Let’s look after him.

(This post is dedicated to Lizzie Bonito, y’all – a very funny lady with a huge talent for recognising unbelievable hotness when she sees it xx)

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One Response to KEANU REEVES

  1. Suzerino says:

    Christ – I had a Keanu wall too. Plastered ever inch with his face, even cut out teeny pics from the Radio Times and stuck them up. I think I overdosed because weirdly, he does nothing for me now!

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