DAVID BECKHAM

Face: SMOULDERING
Body: ATHLETIC
Arms: TONED
Personality: GORGE
Distinguishing features: PERFECT DAD
Attainability: OH COME ON

So, some might find him too pretty, too groomed, too inarticulate, too boring… Whatevs. He’s fucking LOVELY. He’s devoted to his family, he’s a national treasure, he’s married to a savvy marketing genius (love her or hate her – I think she’s mega) who he loves to bits, he has been one of the nation’s best footballers at times, and he’s an all round good guy. He looks like a Greek god but he’s from crapsville Leytonstone, and possesses a sleek, panther-esque, toned physique that you kinda want to smell (probs smells awesome). He’s iconic, well and truly.

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2 Responses to DAVID BECKHAM

  1. David says:

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

  2. db (that's actually my initials, I'm not an obsessive weirdo) says:

    I have the pleasure of saying that I have been lucky enough to hug this (definitely) WOULD. Unbelievably close to pinching his delectable behind, but that’s another story. But I can in fact confirm that he smells delicious. As delicious as warm, butter popcorn…

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