JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

Face: CUTESY
Body: SEXYBACK
Arms: RHYTHMIC
Personality: AMERICA’S SWEETHEART
Distinguishing features: VOCAL RANGE
Attainability: BIT CRAP

Timbers is a nice guy. He can take the piss out of himself; he can make you laugh; he loves his “mom”; he looks like he’d be an ace, fun, silly babysitter; and he’s real purty, too. Again, he’s a multi-talented mofo and seems pretty darn good at everything he puts his hand to. You know your parents would LOVE him. Safe, yet thrilling in his own ex-boyband member way. And of course, the added bonus of a dick-in-a-box for Christmas. Plus, let’s not forget – let’s NOT forget – that he has Pharrell’s number on speed dial.

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