Monthly Archives: August 2011

JOE MANGANIELLO

Face: GOLDEN EAGLE Body: MOUNTAINOUS Arms: GARGANTUAN Personality: IMPASSIONED Distinguishing features: ‘THAT’ BODY Attainability: ENGAGED For those of you who don’t watch True Blood…what the fuck have you been doing for the past four series? You’ve missed out, BIG style. … Continue reading

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PAUL NEWMAN

Face: ANGELIC Body: BUTCH (CASSIDY) Arms: FLAWLESS Personality: HUMANITARIAN CHARMER Distinguishing features: ICONIC EYES Attainability: DEAD, BUT WAS MARRIED FOR 50 YEARS Paul Newman is what one would call “timeless”. He was, is, one of the greats – a decorated … Continue reading

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JON HAMM

Face: HANDSOMUS CLASSICUS Body: ALL-MAN Arms: IMMACULATE Personality: CAPTIVATING Distinguishing features: SNL VETERAN Attainability: MARRIED, FUCK Oh Hammy, how handsome you are. How tall, and elegant, and masculine. Add into the mix a wonderfully silly sense of humour and brilliant … Continue reading

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EDWARD NORTON

Face: TORTURED SOUL Body: DEPENDS Arms: QUESTIONABLE Personality: INTENSE Distinguishing features: THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB…. Attainability: UNKNOWN If you like a bit of a moody weirdo to take you on dates, then look no further than Mr Norton. … Continue reading

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IDRIS ELBA

Face: HACKNEY HUNK Body: BEEFCAKE WITH ICING ON TOP Arms: BRAWNY Personality: PROACTIVE Distinguishing features: UP & COMING Attainability: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT* Idris here is one of that rare species – a Brit who becomes mega-famous in the US. His role in … Continue reading

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HARRISON FORD

Face: HAN-DSOME Body: BLADERUNNER Arms: WHIP-HONED Personality: CANTANKEROUS Distinguishing features: ACTION HERO VIBES Attainability: NOT GOOD The younger Harrison, 30-45 year old Harrison, i.e. peak Harrison, i.e.┬áBladerunner-era Harrison, was pretty much the epitome of burnished, golden, virility. These days, the … Continue reading

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MARVIN GAYE

Face: MATINEE IDOL Body: PROPORTIONAL Arms: PASSIONATELY MUSICAL Personality: TEMPERAMENTAL Distinguishing features: BEST VOICE IN HISTORY OF WORLD Attainability: DEADED Has there ever been a purer, more soulful, more beautiful voice than Marvin’s? I doubt it. His preternatural talent was … Continue reading

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