LUKE WILSON

Face: FIFTY PENCE PIECE
Body: TEXAN
Arms: LASSO-CAPABLE
Personality: CHILLAXED
Distinguishing features: PEEPERS
Attainability: AIREET

The curiously angled face of this particular Wilson brother has some excellent advantages: 1) Strong jawline means strong testosterone means maxxx virility; 2) Deep set eyes resemble a bird of prey which means you are going to get…caught (ooh!); and 3) If you had kids with him they’d have good bone structure and wouldn’t get bullied at school (probably). Like his bro Owen, Luke here has a weird attractiveness underpinned by his all-American Dallas genes. He’s handsome, but not regular. He’s cool, but not aloof. He’s alive, but not my boyfriend godDAMMIT! Bummer.

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